I've Been Doing Things Alone And I'm Loving It

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Alone doesn't mean lonely. Not for me and not for most people I am convinced. People are so scared to do things on their own and for no reason whatsoever. They are scared of what people think, and yes, there are looks and weird moments but honestly, who cares? I have recently been embracing going out and doing things on my own, in fact, I am canceling on people because I'd rather go and do it on my own, and I don't feel ashamed of it, not even a little bit.

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I don't feel like I owe anyone my time and I'm sick of compromises. I go to the movies or out to eat and most often to a coffee shop and sit there for hours and I'm absolutely loving it! It feels like I've found a new friend, and like their company so much, I want to spend every second with them. And that's me. People think you're doing something on your own because none of your friends aren't available or someone canceled on you, so you go alone. But why do we feel like it's the normal thing to do to go to the movies with someone? You only sit in the dark and don't talk anyway.  I decided not to care anymore that the person that sells the tickets asks you twice: 'How many? One?'

 

Perks of doing things on your own:

  • Spare the time needed to make plans to go anywhere. Be as spontaneous as you like.

  • Spare the time wasted doing small-talk or having standard, preformed conversations.

  • Have time to think. Get to know yourself!

  • Quick decisions what to do or where to go without influence or compromise.

  • You get to know yourself. Indulge in long strains of thought.

  • You can soak in your surroundings.

  • Once you get used to it you will never get lonely or think you can't do something if no other person is available.

  • You will start lovely conversations with strangers. And I'm saying this as an introvert, even I really like this part. It's just really small moments that you are going to share simple, kind words or just a smile that suddenly means so much.

  • It's liberating! I can't believe I didn't do so many things just because I didn't find someone to do them with me. Now I will just go and do them, no doubt about it, nothing holding me back.

Just as it is with finding a relationship, where you have to learn to be happy and complete on your own to find what you're looking for, it is the same with friendships. You should learn to have an opinion on your own and to stand your man when it comes to things you don't agree with. Once you know who you are and what you stand for you can find people that suit your life. You become more picky with your time and that's awesome! Because time is all you got, girl! Don't just waste it with whoever is around. Spend quality time with good people. And I don't mean you should cut everyone out of your life, who isn't perfect. Nobody is, neither are you. But you'll know when a friendship is worth it.

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And one valuable lesson I've learned when it comes to friendships is: it is rare for you to be compatible in every aspect of life with one person. Often there is a person that fits perfectly into one activity, but not so well for another. And then another friend works better when you do something else. And that's perfect. You can definitely have interesting conversations with people you don't like that much. If you acknowledge that, it makes it easier to navigate everything. 

What I just don't agree with is, people constantly talking about how annoying they find a friend, but it is just the way it is and so they continue doing things with them even though they really don't want to. I just don't get that. Stop! You're neither doing them nor yourself a favor.

So let me know: how are you feeling about doing things on your own, versus doing things with friends all the time? Are you confident and comfortable enough to go and do things on your own? Or does it feel weird? Do you think having friends that annoy you all the time is okay?

Love,

Emma x

 

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