Before Advice


Only take advice

 that applies to your life.

Advice and inspiring quotes floating around on the internet are great but as a matter of fact, if you don't have the right situation or problem to start with it doesn't help as much. It's made for a mold of problems that actually not everybody has. That's why it can get confusing if applying the solutions to your life doesn't help you. That's a problem I've noticed on the internet in general whether it is inspirational quotes, singing or musical lessons or fitness videos. They don't correct your mistakes and don't tell you what you need to hear, because, well they don't know, see or hear you.

This can really happen in real life too. Even friends don't know where you're at exactly mentally or physically. They don't know what is going on in your head. So what I found is important to realize is, advice aren't directions. You don't NEED to take it! Take it carefully. Only you kno what you need to hear. Here are some of the typical advice that I think doesn't always lead people to do the right thing. It only works when you're in a specific place to start with.

Be easy on yourself, take breaks: Let's be real this advice goes out to people who are really self-disciplined and structured. People that don't stop working. For most of us, that's not usually true and these things just scream procrastination. What we need is someone to tell us to get up, get the shit done that's bothering us and work so hard that we are proud of ourselves and get done whatever we set our mind to. Learn to push yourself. The more you push and motivate yourself to your full potential the easier it gets. Do it for the right reason, to a goal you want to achieve and of course in a healthy way but if you do something, give it your all and work hard. Don't do things half-ass and let them fade out. Stick with them to the end. And finish them completely.

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Enjoy the little things: If you really can't enjoy the big things, the little things don't help you. Try to ork on getting your big factors where you want them. Don't settle. Of course, enjoy the little things along the roadside, but don't stop going. Don't get caught up in the things that don't make you happy in the long run.

Travel: Traveling is only fun if you have built a place you know you can come back to. Traveling right after school may not be such a good idea since all you have on your mind is probably how your future will go and how to make a living, where to live and who you'll be. So maybe find/create a safe space first and then get traveling. You can always take time off and get away, you're not trapped. It's so much more enjoyable if you don't constantly have to worry about what happens when you come back.

There's nothing you can't do: True, BUT: you have to actually do it. It's for people who already do everything they can but doubt themselves. But if you're not, you really need to get up and do the thing you want to do. It's not going to just come to you. You have to go out and get it. You have to be disciplined and work hard and regularly.

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Step out of your comfort zone: You have to establish a comfort zone first, and that can be difficult. You have to create a space you feel comfortable in, so you know you can come back to it after you step out. And that doesn't have to be a physical space, but a state of comfort and not everyone has that to start with.

Life every day like it was your last: Before that, you need to make sure your future self is going to be okay with what you do. Once you have everything figured out, and all you have to do is to keep on working for it, yes, living each day as if it's standing alone makes sense, to enjoy the moment. But in the means of the greater picture.

Follow your passion: This is not only easier said than done since you have to figure it out first. Also does that start with interest and persistence. You'll get there, but it's not all fun and easy because it's your passion. You have to find something that's worth it.

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Just be yourself: you have to know who you are or want to be. It's more of a creating process than it is a finding process. You can know who you want to be but you have to work on becoming that person. And that doesn't make you fake. You just have to make sure you're not doing everything for someone else, but only yourself.

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Don't doubt yourself: Please, doubt yourself. But constructively. Wonder, whether you can do better and admit your mistakes. Accept that you could have done things better and know that for next time. Never stop doing the things you are doing because of it. And also never think less of yourself. Learn to separate who you are from what you're doing.

Fact is, advice is something you have to think about before you take it, and it's not a problem if you say, well actually, that's good advice and thank you but  I'm not going to take it. You know yourself best and the root of your problems so remember you are the person who knows what needs to be done. Sometimes its difficult to see and it coming from an outstanding person is helpful, but sometimes it is just not.

Have you had someone trying to give you advice that you realize doesn't help you and isn't what you need to hear at that moment?


Emma x