Is It Supposed To Be This Hard?

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Life sucks sometimes. Sometimes it sucks all the time. Everybody living on this planet knows that. But recently I’ve really been wondering: how much is it supposed to suck? What’s the percentage of sucking and being alright that’s “normal”? How much shit can a person take? And should you really have to work that hard to get the good moments?

The answer is honestly: NO! I really don’t think it is supposed to feel like this. The way we see the world varies in every person based on experiences we’ve had and the kind of brain we have. Sometimes our mind is playing tricks on us and makes everything seem way darker and scarier than it actually is.

My Own Private Idaho,

My Own Private Idaho,

We all deal with this: Struggles to accept yourself, the people around you, the world you live in, how you want to spend your life, what you have. But we can figure everything out, and most things get better with some time even though that’s hard to believe sometimes.

Just going from one problem to the next in life. It’s easier to deal with problems if they seem like a smaller part of a good thing. But to many of us that’s not what it feels like.

The problems feel like giant, unclimbable mountains, maybe they have tiny flowers along the way but we’re too stressed and scared to enjoy them.

Stand by Me,

Stand by Me,

Most of us realize pretty early on in life how stupid everything can be. Teenage years are tough. You feel the pressure to fit in and do what everyone else is doing all the time. You have to have many friends and go to partys, wear the things that are in style and like the things everyone else likes. (To only list the relatively small problems that EVERYONE has, not to mention the shitty individual cards some of us are dealt on top of everything.) All of that sets the groundstone to feeling uncomfortable if those things don’t happen to be the things you actually enjoy. Because we have no choice but to convince ourselves that we do.

Of course we grow up to be confused. We have no idea what we actually like or who we are. We can’t be surprised that this makes us unhappy.

Financial strugles are everywhere and just so scary. You feel like you’re drowning and really worrying about your existence. And only beause you’ve been lucky or unlucky about what situation you’re born into. And it being such a tabu to talk about doesn’t help. We make people feel emberassed about having less, like it makes them worth less. Which is of course, it doesn’t. But that is not the way we treat people and are treated. That has to change. We cannot admire a person that bought something great with their parents money. It doesn’t make them a hard worker, it doesn’t make them a kind person, it doesn’t make them better at all. Just as much as a person who struggles, who wears second hand clothes and can’t afford to go out all the time isn’t less of a person or uncool, seriously people.

Donnie Darko,

Donnie Darko,

How to enjoy life again (taking back control):

  • Putting attention towards the right things: what interests us. And that’s supposed to be easy. Find something worth working hard for.

  • Sometimes zooming out of ourselves. We are just a small little part in this world and that’s a good thing. We can try to be a good part, to help others and trying to put our energy towards positive changes.

  • Having a bit of trust in karma and the universe. You can’t live your life thinking about the worst things that could happen. And despising others for having it easier even if they are a horrible person. Let karma deal with it, don’t waste your energy.

  • The feeling of being in a hopeless position happens. When it seems like there is no way out, we can’t manage it ourselves. But most often there is. If we keep a more positive attitude people will help us and not let us rot on the street. People want to help you. They don’t think the world would be a better place if you weren’t there being a burden. You existing is a good thing and enough to deserve a place on this earth. Things get better if you sit it out, stay strong and don’t give up.

  • Accepting the world your’re in. This is difficult and I’m still not quite there but this is something you need to work on actively. You need to see what is happening in this world because this is where and when you exist and if that makes youmad: great! You should be. But that’s a good thing! Do something about it and you will feel your own value Because everybody fighting the good fight matters! Create if you’re a creative! Art is a great form of protest and expression! Create from the stuff you know. Write, paint, whatever.

  • Stop being afraid. It doesn’t help. As hard as this is: Fear kills brain and fear kills resistance. You can never let the powerful, stupid people make you scared. Because that’s what keeps you quiet. And yes, if you have a brain that works in a compassionate way, fear is a very natural reaction to many things but we can never let that stop us from doing anything. Because feeling this much is what makes us strong and what makes us human. And that’s a good thing, never hate yourself for it. But be aware of it and fight it.

  • Taking control. Feeling like you have a plan to do what you want to do gives you a confidence that makes working hard towards that goal worth it. People with goals are my kind of people. The goals can be anything. A family. A certain job. Financial stability and time to chill and enjoy your free time. Anything is a good goal if it’s what you want. Focusing on small doable tasks helps with that. Step by step, one foot after the other and not being perfect is the key.

  • You should be able to see the world as a beautiful place. Through the eyes of art that’s possible.

  • Life is supposed to be mostly good. Find something that makes you happy. Be radical. Cut out things that stress you out if you can. Make big changes, don’t be afraid!

  • Have fun, speak your mind. Turn off your mind sometimes and remind yourself to be less serious. Take everything with a more relaxed attitude. Whatever happens happens, and that’s okay.

  • Partying isn’t worth it for me right now. It costs me too much energy and doesn’t bring me enough real happiness. It’s just not worth it for me right now. Ad realizing those things and radically saying no to things you don’t want to do is important and will make you feel a lot better. Even if your alternative is being at home and watching TV it’s your life, your choice and you should never feel guilty or bad for making decisions about how you’re spending your time.

  • Learn to love knowing things again. Study things that interest you on your own. School often destroys our curiosity and makes us frustrated even thinking about learning new things. But our generation has access to all kinds of knowledge on the internet and we are interested in all kinds of things. Never let older pople tell you we’re turning stupid because of all the technology, it’s quite the opposite, they just don’t understand it. Don’t forget that and find your joy in information. And the power.